When it comes to relationships, they say opposites attract, but that can sometimes make for challenges at bedtime, especially if one partner is a night owl and the other is a morning bird Let’s discuss How Sharing a Bed with Your Partner.
Maintaining a regular sleep schedule is crucial for overall well-being, but sharing a bed with someone who has a different sleep schedule or a sleep disorder can complicate matters. These difficulties can accumulate, affecting essential relationship skills like communication and problem-solving.
So, you might wonder: Is it better to stick to your sleep routine or prioritize time together in bed? We asked Dr. Wendy Troxel, a behavioral scientist at the RAND Corporation and author of “Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep,” to weigh in.
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Benefits of Sleeping Together: Better Health, Mood, and Relationships.
Research consistently shows that people in long-term relationships or marriages tend to live longer, happier, and healthier lives. For Troxel, who has extensively studied sleep’s impact on couples, investigating sleep was crucial.
“Bedtime, the time couples spend together in bed at night, was an overlooked aspect in studies on relationship benefits,” she notes. “Considering sleep’s critical role in physical and mental health, it seemed a logical area to explore as a potential link between relationships and health outcomes. Sleep is a health behavior routinely shared with a partner, unlike occasional activities such as sharing a meal or going for a run.”
Sharing a bed with a partner indeed improves both the relationship and individual sleep quality.
German researchers studying heterosexual couples found that sleeping together enhances the duration and quality of REM sleep, crucial for cognitive function and emotional regulation.
Partners can also alert each other to sleep issues like snoring or sleep apnea, which can significantly impact health and longevity.
“One way partners contribute to health is by identifying sleep problems,” Troxel explains. “If snoring or restlessness disrupts your sleep, it’s a cue to discuss this with a doctor. Sleep apnea is often referred to as ‘the disease of listeners’ because partners often motivate treatment-seeking.”
How to Reap the Benefits of Different Sleep Schedules.
Sharing a bed might seem straightforward: climb in, read side by side, and then switch off the light. Ideally, this routine not only fosters intimacy but also improves health outcomes.
“On a day-to-day basis, particularly for women, going to bed at the same time as their partner correlates with better relationship functioning the next day,” Troxel observes. “There’s benefit in syncing bedtimes, even if it’s not every night.”
However, challenges arise when partners have mismatched sleep preferences due to genetic factors. Forcing a different sleep pattern can lead to insomnia and strain the relationship.
Troxel suggests a compromise: maintain a shared bedtime ritual, then allow the partner with a later sleep schedule to quietly leave until they’re ready to sleep.
Is Separate Sleeping Better?
Not all couples sleep in the same bed, and that’s okay. While shared sleep has advantages, quality sleep is paramount for long-term health and relationship satisfaction.
“Some couples try arrangements that compromise both partners’ sleep quality. If sharing a bed doesn’t work, focus on quality time together when awake,” Troxel advises.
Separate sleeping arrangements, like different beds or rooms, have historically been beneficial for couples. Prioritizing good sleep over sharing a bed can be a wise choice.
Conclusion
Research indicates that sharing a bed with your partner can enhance both physical health and relationship satisfaction. However, if sleeping together poses challenges like snoring or mismatched sleep schedules, there are alternative strategies to maintain intimacy and support well-being.
Whether it’s adjusting bedtime routines or considering separate sleeping arrangements, prioritizing restful sleep can ultimately strengthen your relationship and overall happiness. So, while bedtime together is beneficial, ensuring quality sleep is key to a fulfilling partnership.
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